I dun like the time when i am alone in the night, and i wanna talk to someone....Why i cant learn to share with You alone?
I dun like the time when my mind urge me to find a partner or out of sudden i think of someone and i will lose my mind....Why cant i learn to love You and wait for You?
I dun like the time when i am late....Why cant I be punctual as i have set this concept in my mind ?
I dun like the time when i try to give excuse and try to find the possible out of the impossibility?...why cant i lean on You?
I dun like the time when i fail to discipline myself, and make my body control me?...Why cant i let You discipline?
I dun like the time when the timing is wrong, why when the chances come and i am in wrong timing and they went off...Why cant I tune my timing to Your timing?
I dun like the time when my mind is so "good" in linking and predicting the result, that i dun know the response i give is out of my heart or what i actually plan to make the situation better?....why cant I just dont think ?
I dun like the feeling of dislike, why cant i make every situation as an opportunity to learn something?

I am really working hard, but why i need to be connected again? I planned to let go, but i have the responsibility there, i dont know how to face it, i really really scare once i give in i cant make myself out of it and i will do something hurting...Am i a coward who always think of escaping instead of facing it and conquer it? I dont know, i pray to You to help me, guide me...I dont wanna hurt people, i am tired of drawing myself out once i am in, i am tired of thinking something out of nothing like a mad people, i am tired of facing myself who act like a coward. Why again and again these things defeat me down?
Why again and again, my mind change so fast?
Why again and again i screw up the situation?
Why again and again i am weak ?
Why again and again i try and i fail, and i try and i fail?
Why again and again i say "I will not" and i follow my heart and I go?
Why again and again when i make my mind clear, and it will not last long?
Maybe what i can do best and for the best, i dont mean it is best but it is best out of my ability, is to rest and readjust myself in You.

I believe i dont know what is "in a relationship", what is "boy girl love about", i wanna quit from them for a moment,i leave it to You...Dont ask me whether i have gf onot, what i could tell you is i used my way ,i tried but i dont have.. I believe that there are more precious things in my life for me to treasure and love. You might say i am a loser and only say so coz i fail to be in a relationship, whatsoever i dont care.....At times it really drives me crazy!!!! I have enough of it.
I still believe true love will come, but seriously i dont know when , who, and is really enough for me think who is, who is not, Is Your business man, help me handle..I am not try to be irresponsible, but if could you teach me and let me know, dont leave me alone thinking, guessing like a mad people. Please!!! Thz! Nitez.


A piece of my thought on that night....

Maybe the way to avoid disappointment is to avoid meeting appointment, stop to give hope to yourself...Kinda coward...

突然想起, .三毛说:
某些人的爱情，只是一种“当时的情绪”。
如果对方错将这份情绪当做长远的爱情，是本身的幼稚。

短暂的快乐让人回味无穷, 永恒的快乐让人不再贫穷

France lost....Disappointing indeed!!!

突然好想你-五月天 很好听.....

每天都有很感动人心的事,睁大眼睛看看,你会发现的.....美好的星期二.

看着空荡荡的走廊, 回想起三不五时,的喧哗声
看着对面的那道门, 心里不时笑了一下,　总是在推开的那一刻撞到了妳，而妳却微微笑说:＂不要紧．＂
回头看着那零乱的房间，以前每晚十点都会被一群可爱的弟兄姐妹＂入侵＂．
我怀念：
那烘烤的香味,　那一叠叠等着被洗白的碗筷,　
那熟悉的"　啊宏,　臭人,　屁股,　去死啦，　傻佬．．．．
每逢星期一与五奔跑到厨房的过程
习惯星期六的唠叨
深夜和家振找食物吃,泡茶喝,　还有还有＂偷吃"洋芋片"．．．．
考试前紧张的心情
煮罗汉果的时候，　准备保温瓶，暖暖包时的心情
教琴的时候，聊天的时候
ＳＨＡＲＯＮ，　大姐式但又非常小孩子的脾气
＂可以不要将子吗？　可怜一下你的朋友．．sob sob....."
所有的生日惊喜，在门外紧张等候的感觉，然后看到他们紧张又兴奋又尴尬的表情，真的好怀念
还有还有好多好多

但看来时间是残酷的,　不能一直待在过去，是时候向前了,　结束并不是失去，而是拥有机会拥抱更多.．．．只想说一句，　＂我很珍惜，我很用心,我很感恩．．．．．．　

再见第二年,欢迎第三年咯．．．

瑞芳煤礦有個礦工挖掘煤礦時，不慎觸及未爆彈而當場被炸死，他的家人只得到一筆微薄的撫恤金。他的妻子在承受喪夫之痛的同時，還要面臨經濟壓力。她 無一技之長，不知道要如何謀生，正當憂愁之際，工頭來看她，並建議她到礦場販賣早點以維持生計，於是她做了一些餛飩，一大清早就到礦場去賣。

　　開張的第一天，來了十二位客人。隨著時間的推移，熱騰騰的餛飩吸引了更多顧客，生意好時，大約有二、三十人，生意清淡時，即使雨天或寒冬也不少於十二人。

　　時間一久，礦工的妻子們都發現丈夫每天早上工作以前，都要吃一碗餛飩。她們對此百思不得其解，於是想一探究竟，甚至跟蹤質問丈夫，但都得不到答案。有的妻子還自己做早餐給丈夫吃，結果丈夫還是去吃一碗餛飩。

　　在一次的意外裡，工頭也被炸成重傷，彌留之際對妻子說:「我死了以後，你們一定要接替我，每天去吃一碗餛飩，這是我們同組夥伴的約定。朋友死了，留下孤苦無依的妻兒，除了我們，還有誰能幫助那對可憐的母子呢?」

　　從此以後，餛飩攤多了一位女性的身影，在來去匆匆的人群當中，唯一不變的是不多不少的十二個人。

　　時光飛逝，礦工的兒子已長大成人，而礦工的妻子也兩鬢斑白，然而，這位飽經苦難的母親，依然用真誠的微笑來面對每一位顧客。

　　前來光顧餛飩攤的人，儘管年輕的替代老的，女的替代男的，但從未少於十二人。經過十幾年的歲月滄桑，十二顆愛心依然閃閃發亮。

　　有一種承諾可以直到永遠，那就是用愛心塑造的承諾，穿越塵世間最昂貴的時光。

　　十二個共同的秘密，其實只有一個祕密，那就是永恆的愛。

　　一個人的早餐只是一個蛋，兩個人的早餐就是一頓愛，

　　一個人的擁抱只能抱住風，兩個人的擁抱真實得發痛，

　　一個人的快樂多麼單薄，兩個人的快樂滿出了你我，一個人的痛苦苦得沒有盡頭，兩個人的痛苦至少多個人說說。

去年我失去了妳,那么的突然, 我问上帝祢 在哪里?
今年, 我接到消息, 我祈祷,希望她能好起来, 但她还是走了, 去了那远远的地方
当我还在自己看起来那么渺小的问题中不停的 旋转, 生命却又在一次从我身边静静流走了,
去年我好想跟她分享当下的心情,
今年我只想悄悄的和祢分享, 有好多疑问想问祢, 好想要祢重复拿撒路的奇迹, 但我心知祢有自己的计划.
听着" 我知谁掌管明天", 我心也随着旋律渐渐平服了.

希望一切将会顺利, 原祢的平安和大家同在......也和我同在.

谢谢您扬老师,谢谢您的教导,谢谢你的鼓励. 您永远都会在我心里.

有点累了，有点疲倦了。
每每即将结束前，就会有着样的感觉，
经历了那么多，错过了那么多，何时才会碰上呢？或许不会吧！或许猫永远不会喜欢吃萝卜吧！也或许猫永远都喜欢吃鱼。
误会了那么多，冲突或许也不必十只手指头少，但那个夜晚，我搭出了那勇敢的一步，你的真心我好像看到了，我的城墙也被溶化了，心比心好像也不是那么遥远了。
每每结束前才看清什么才是值得珍惜的，错过并不意味着没了，而是懂得在未来拥有更多。
有点亮了，有点曙光了。。。。。。。

I hope to sit under a tree reading books, listening to some classical musics, enjoying the breeze. Close my eyes, i hope to get a break from all the books, colloqs, and jz lie down and feel it!!!! Let You God to guide me, sometimes things cant rush, it might seems in this way but it might be another next minute. What you have to do is not think how it will come, or how you wanna make it come, but wait God to make it comes in His way. Is not easy, but learning!!! Maybe i should let go the sand in my hand, then only Him can feel it with rainbows . But is not easy again. Sometimes i dont like my mind that it always rush, i hope to have some surprises that would be out of what i can think of, is kinda hard also. haha...sometimes i reli feel like to flow with my feel to do whatever thing i want, yet again i cant't. Methinks, a sleep is what i need now. Dont rush Gan Tsai Sheng, let it flows...

心情真的有点闷,连午餐都只想一个人吃.
真的觉得自己有点懦弱.
是眼红,还是意味着自己的能力很有限.
每每想前进时,又被它停下来了,
好象没办法打赢它.

給我一点力量前进吧!! 亲爱的上帝.

好多话,好多心情很想跟妳分享, 能把妳的心借我一下下吗? 让我有个肩膀靠一下, 休息一会儿.

给祢 和妳....

我说了,你听到了吗?

Thought today i could play soccer. who knows, they were playing. Indeed i was vy vy vy pissed off that time. Thz for Ronald, he was enduring me and keep saying " never mind". Haha...Maybe i need to control my emotion bit then. But great job to our English faculty Malaysia team, that you all won over the Russian one with 4-1 , Good Job!!! Keep it up!! Then was walking home alone, the feeling was good. Have some many things wanna share, have an ear for me ? Guess nope. Thz God for the day!

Jiayou pls... God bless!!!

Something i accidentally saw

快樂的權利

你很喜歡他，所以你一直以為，如果有一天，
他也能像你如此喜歡他一樣地喜歡你，
你就會變成世界上最快樂的人。
是的，他確實是個很值得愛慕的人，
但為什麼你要等他也來愛慕你了，你才要開始快樂呢？
這樣不是減少了讓自己快樂的時間嗎？
不是把快樂放逐到一個不確定的未來去了嗎
更重要的是，不是把自己寶貴的快樂的權利交到別人手上了嗎？
親愛的，他雖然很優秀，但還沒有優秀到有權利決定你快不快樂。
就算是真正的國王，也無能頒發子民的快樂。
快樂的奧義在於，你要掌握自己快樂的權利，而不是等待別人的賜予。
在心靈的國土上，你就是自己唯一的國王。

寬大

這是一個甫自越戰歸來的士兵的故事。

他從舊金山打電話給他的父母親告訴他們：

「爸媽，我回來了，可是我有個不情之請。

我想帶一個朋友同我一起回家。」

「當然好啊！」他們回答「我們會很高興見到他的。」

不過，兒子又繼續說下去：「可是有件事我想先告訴你們，

他在越戰裡受了重傷“失去一條胳臂和一隻腳”。

他現在走投無路，我想請他回來和我們一起住。」

「兒子，我很遺撼，不過或許我們可以幫他找個安身之處。」

「不要，爸媽，我要他和我們住在一起！」

父親又接著說「兒子，你不知道自己在說些什麼。

像他這樣的人會對我們的生活造成很大的負擔。

我們還有自己的生活要過，

不能就讓他這樣破壞了。我建議你先回家然後忘了他，

他會找到自己的一片天空的。」

就在此時兒子掛上了電話，他的父母再也沒有他的消息了。

幾天後，這對父母接到了來自舊金山警局的電話，

告訴他們親愛的兒子已經墜樓身亡了。警方相信這只是單純的自殺案件。

於是他們傷心欲絕地飛往舊金山，

並在警方帶領之下到停屍間去辨認兒子的遺體。

那的確是他們的兒子沒錯，但驚訝的是兒子居然

“只有一條胳臂和一條腿”。

每個人一生中都要信兩種教

昨天我和一個朋友聊到一句話，我覺得很有意義，
每個人一生中都要信兩種教，
妳知道是什麼教嗎....? 當然不是睡覺.....^.^
是不計較與不比較......
人活著都會有許多的慾望，慾望多了，漸漸會慾求不滿，
到最後就演變成為了滿足自己的慾望而去傷害別人...
如果我們凡事不與人計較，便不會有口角，也不會勾心鬥角，
如果我們凡事不與人比較，便不會有慾望，也不會欲求不滿，
因此我們做人要謙虛，要知足，更要惜福....
我們要把自己縮小，不斷的縮小自己，小到能將自己放入別人眼中，
因為眼裡是容不下一顆沙子的，倘若能將自己縮小到放入別人眼中，
讓別人都能接納妳，這樣才是真的會做人，
世界這麼大，每個人都有他的過人之處，
如果我們不懂得縮小自己，只是一味的覺得自己比別人厲害，
這樣永遠都不會成功，永遠都不會滿足，也永遠都不會快樂....
因為一山比一山高，所以不要去和人家比較，
這不是要妳因此不求上進喔.....，是要妳懂得謙虛....
而是要妳將心放大，
去包容每一個人，從家人，朋友，甚至陌生人.....
也許我解釋得不是很好，但我體會很深....
如果每個人都能有所體悟，都能放寬心，相信都會過得很快樂.....

體會

想要體會「一年」有多少價值，你可以去問一個失敗重修的學生。
想要體會「一月」有多少價值，你可以去問一個不幸早產的母親。
想要體會「一週」有多少價值，你可以去問一個定期週刊的編輯。
想要體會「一小時」有多少價值，你可以去問一對等待相聚的戀人。
想要體會「一分鐘」有多少價值，你可以去問一個錯過火車的旅人。
想要體會「一秒鐘」有多少價值，你可以去問一個死裡逃生的幸運兒。
想要體會「一毫秒」有多少價值，你可以去問一個錯失金牌的運動員。

Thank You.,..

I was very disappointed with myself, i am a bit disappointed with you, but He cancel and delete all the disappointments and i am free now!!! Thank YOU!!

Love YOU

It has been some times i dont update my blog.....haha..recently loads things happen, perhaps i am not that kind of ppl who reli like to share, thus i put all in my heart lo. Learned loads new things, get loads new and positive concepts. I wanna keep improve myself, grow till fat fat fat.......It is still in my heart, but i camouflage it lo, keep it deep in my heart. You know when you see a nice pic, you would like to have it so much, but you know it already has a vy vy good owner, you wouldnt wan to put a leg in it, not because you dont like it but you love it too much!! haha... I read a scripture this morning: God causes everything to work together for the good for those who love God and are caused according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 And one more which is really WOW...: No eyes has seen, no ear has heard, no brain has conceived. What God has prepared for those who love him. 1Cor 3:1. He speaks to me, for i know what i shall focus is to love him more and more and more, and He will guide me and be with me..Thz Lord, I LOVE YOU, for in the midst of doubting your faithfulness draw me back, at last let's ur will but not mine to be done ya!!

Sorry

My way to care is to be naggy. The more i care the more i nag, coz i dunno wat i can do, hopefully through nagging i can some how help or remind them. When i hope you will und the important fact i will nag, coz i reli hope you will. I used to repeat loads things without realizing, coz i cant reli rmb what i have said and i din, but when i got the feeling and exicited about it, i will immediately share with you, so i am sorry if i have repeated loads times, for i know it will irritate you. I am sorry to be naggy, i know it dosent make people feel good, and very tiring to listen to me as i cant reli express myself well and use any good and suitable word. Is time to change perhaps, and i will try my vy best to change it, hopefully if next time i nag, you can kindly tell me" you are bit naggy ,i think" or if you are kind enough not to say out then i will of of course appreciate it very much..I am sorry to be so..In fact i hope someone can nag me or i dont mind coz i know you are caring me, somehow Mom i miss you!!!!